The Bad Ass Adventures of Deadpool
by TheAmazingWebWarrior
Summary: Hey Folks! Deadpool here! TheAmazingWebWarrior is kinda busy. But, here's that story I... I mean, HE Wrote. It has action, romance, suspense, AND CHIMICHANGAS! ENJOY!
1. Action begins

Chapter 1: The Action begins….

 **Disclaimer: Me, Chimichangas, and whatever else there is in here belonged to Marvel or whatever. BLAH BLAH BLAH…. LETS Start the STORY!**

Okay, our scene starts in an alleyway in New York, some loser in awful black clothing fires at a bad ass figure in the sky.

 **(Me: WADE! Get away from my COMPUTER!)**

 **Shut it TheAmazingWebWarrior before you end up like your buddy ABOOKS or I kill your dog. Anyway, back to OUR wonderful tale.**

As the thief with a… umm… HYDRA symbol hides around the corner, He does not notice a red and black figure (Which is totally not that cool (But, really adorable) Spider-Man, but a certain someone who has cool fighting moves.) As the HYDRA Goon relaxes and takes his breath. The red and black figure jumps down and throws a shrunken at the goon's gun.

 **(Me: Now you're copying from Batman, Totally not cool to copy him.)**

 **Hey! Bruce Wayne cheated in Batman versus Superman and also in the comics. Now, shut up and listen to the Deadpool rap from Teamheadkick (The first one, not the second because the first one is catchy) Also, Stop using me as one of your Sonic OCs on a Roblox game called the Epic Crossover, because this hot body is copyrighted, Idiot.**

 **(Me: Oh Quiet Wade, You got your ass kicked by Shadow the Hedgehog on Cartoon Fight Club.)**

 **Shut up Kid before this bullet goes through your dog's skull. Now back to my Story**

"Well Well, Bob," said the handsome figure, "It's been a while since I fought HYDRA in Genosha. "Yah Mister Pool. How's your day?" said Bob. "Oh, my day was horrible. Taco Bell won't give me my Chimichangas because they don't serve them, so I had to kill the cashier and break in the kitchen. Then, I tried to find my video game, but I couldn't find it in Game Stop. Then, I played as myself in the mobile game Contest of Champions, but I lost to a player's Iron-Man, so, I went and killed that guy. And then, I heard that HYDRA stole from Stark Industries. So, I had to follow the thief like that cheater, Bruce Wayne. Then, I'm talking to you." "Wow, You've been busy." said Bob. "Well, Too bad I had to kill you." said Deadpool as he shoots a bullet into Bob's head. Then, all of Deadpool's girlfriends in bikinis surround him as lightning comes out of katana.

 **(Me: Wade, that the most awful First chapter I ever had to revise. I thought you and Bob were friends, Why did you kill him?)**

 **Hey, he was being bad, But, don't worry I can write him back in when I tell my amazing origin story. (Not the one Ryan Reynolds did of me, Even though I like that movie a lot). But, I just don't mind me living with you as long as this story takes.**

 **(Me: Fine, you can write your story as long as I finish MY stories on here. Also, I want you to let my dog go and you can sleep in the living room. But, I'm watching your Death Battle video and I'm actually impressed.)**

 **Aw thanks kid, But, Why do you write Spider-Man all the time? Isn't a little weird. Oh wait, I wanna call my friend ABOOKS about me staying with you to type this story. I'm going to walk out of the room.**

 **(Me: Heheheh Time to make an ending that will make Wade look bad)**

As Wade looks around Bob's body, A white figure with black markings comes from the shadows. "WADE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" said the figure. "Well Well Wolverine, like the new costume. Brings out the color in your eyes." said Deadpool as he cries in awesome despair.

 **Ok, Time to end this tale and… WHAT THE HELL DUDE?! Why did you write in here?! You know what? I'm going to destroy your action figure of Spider-Man you love so much. I'm still mad you also did not make that comic about me. TIME TO END THIS STORY!**

 **Next: Wade's crappy origin**

 **Man, I hate you kid.**

 **(Me:Your Welcome XD)**

 **STAY TUNED!**


	2. My Origin

Chapter 2: My Origin

 **Hey guys! Wade Wilson here! Since TheAmazingWebWarrior is at school, I can finally type my origin in pea…..**

 **(Me: Wade, are you typing a chapter? Aww man... I was going to finish the New FF story…)**

 **Hey! You can finish after im done, so, go do your homework kid!**

 **(Me: I don't have homework dumba # *Reads a book*)**

 **Ugh… kids am I right? But, back to my origin.**

 **I was an ordinary kid who got bit by a magical mosquito that gave me wonderful powers. After someone close to me paid the price, I decided to become a mercenary called Deadpool and….**

 **(Me: Hey! That's Spider-Man's origin, not yours Wade)**

 **Ugh! Fine, here's the truth…. I was born on the planet of Pluto. I was just an infant that was sent in a flying Chimichanga from my planet's…. um… disease. Then, a couple named the Wilsons and they named me Wade. When I was a teen, I discovered I have amazing powers and decided to become a force of good and became Deadpool, Protector of Earth.**

 **(Me: Lifts face from book* you copied Super-Man's origin story. Tell them the actual origin Wilson before I throw out your tacos from earlier.)**

 **FINE! Here's my ACTUAL origin (You're such a buzz kill kid, just like Wolverine)**

 **I used to be a Special ops guy who became the "Merc with a Mouth". My life became a living hell when a guy named Francis tortured and mutated me into what I am now. I have awesome healing powers (I can't die fools!) and an AMAZING sense of humor. With the help of two of the X-Men's members, Colossus and Riley from Alien 3, I went on a hunt to KILL the man who ruined my life.**

 **(Me: You basically explained your WHOLE movie in a nutshell. But, at least you nailed it!)**

 **Whatever, dude. Now, since this is a shorter chapter than the first, I want to say SEE YA FOLKS!**

 **Next: Me Vs Daredevil**

 **(Me: Wait… why you said you're going to fight… *Deadpool covers my mouth*))**

 **Don't spoil it kid! *Waves bye***

 **STAY TUNED!**


End file.
